Liberté, Égalité, MATERNITÉ!
Posted July 19, 2010
Links to previous years’ stories:
Basil: Eh, lass, wot’s there to watch now that the World Cup’s done? Time fer a little tour o’th’channels – **flip-flip-flip**
Persephone: **typing**… “Dear Peter, Does your pater manhandle the telly remote with the amazing dexterity that mine exhibits?...”
Basil: Mmmm, crisps! *munchmunchmunch*
Persephone: … “Though I suppose his hand could use the exercise, after weeks of nonstop World Cup viewing…”
**creeeeek… creeeeek… creeeeek…**
Persephone: … “I hear a familiar sound coming this way; Pater’s wish for a new species of entertainment may be fulfilled presently; though for me it is but a tedious reprise…”
Basil: What ho, my Frenchy son? You’ve brought your fancy fromage-slicer too late for our World Cup noshes!
Tancredi: ‘Ow can you seet zere like zat, wheen eet ees ze mos’ eem-por-tant day of ze year? Rise, rise, an’ to pay your ree-spects to ze glorious ree-volution an’ ze jour zat commenced eet – BASTILLE DAY!
Basil: Here, son, don’t forget we Brits (of whom yer half) tried that king-offing business years before you Frenchies caught on, so it’s no big deal to us. Grand experiment, and all that –
Tancredi: Oui, I know zat you are an Een-gleesh, but my o-zher half eet ees Français –
Persephone: *low voice* Dare we conjecture which half?
Tancredi: Eet ees where mon coeur ree-sides – ze land of ma Mère. She eet was who nou-reeshed me, cared for me –
Basil: Can’t argue with you there, boy – yer mum’s a dishy lass, if ever there was –
Basil: And speakin’ o’dishes, here’s the proof of the pudding herself! ‘Ello-‘ello, Marjie – wot brings you stateside?
Tancredi: Maman! ‘Ow – ‘ow deed you get here? –
Marjolaine: ‘Allo, Ba-seel – an’ by ze u-sual methods of tran-sport, to an-swer my see-lee son’s ques-tion. *chuckle* Your Mees Beam-lette, she asked me eef I would to pay une visite –
Marjolaine: An’ ‘ow could I say non? Eet ’as been a long time seence I see your visage beau, ‘asn’t eet?
Tancredi: Ah, Maman… why do you to call me “see-lee”? To ‘ear from you, eet ‘urts *pout* –
Marjolaine: But you ARE see-lee, MY see-lee garcon – een a good way, n’est pas? You know zat Maman, she al-ways love you, no mat-ter what –
Basil: That she does, son – at least she didn’t make you into a poofter; I’ll give her that, harhar –
Buddha Girl: Eh, sorry we innerupt, but we need dis ting fo’ our summer wattermelon fest! How ‘bout we borrow it, Frenchy?
Angry Sparrow: Yeh, borrow –
Marjolaine: Bon jour, les soeurs Moineaux – eet ‘as been a while seence I last to see you, as well! ‘Ow do my lee-tle jeunes filles oiseaux find themselves?
Buddha Girl: Eh, mos’ly we use GPS! Dat a little joke, Ms. Ma’gerine – how you doin’?
Angry Sparrow: Yeh, LITTLE – but den, we little, so it fit –
Marjolaine: Oui, mes petites, I ‘ave seen your maman, not long before I come ‘ere. She ees ver-ree busy, but she say she weel find you soon, as soon as she can. Do not to worry; I know zat she love you, an’ she theenk of you, an’ she trust you to take care of yourselves *smile*.
Buddha Girl: Awww, dat swell to hear – tanks, Ms. Ma’gerine! You de LAS’ person I ‘spect to see ‘round here –
Angry Sparrow: Yeh, guess you like slummin’, huh.
Tragic Plum: Oh yes, you are such a CLASSY lady… and we DO take care of ourselves… as best we can… ooooooh…
Marjolaine: I thought as much, Tragique Prune *chuckle* –
A little while later…
Persephone: **typing** “… and so ends another Bastille Day, this time minus the sound track of the Marseillaise. Citoyen Tancredi’s revolution is undone by a more powerful force, namely his maman… and how goes it around your domicile, Peter?”…
Basil: Heh, here’s a movie tailor-made for you, ducks
– how about Is
Marjolaine: Non, non, non, cheri – I want to laugh. ‘ave you any Jer-ree Lewis films, s’il vous plait?
Tancredi: *le sigh* I should to burst weez ‘appiness… what eez wrong weez me?...
Buddha Girl: Eh, chin up, Frenchy! By de way, can we borrow dis pigsticker’a yous? Bet dat a swell cutter, too –
Angry Sparrow: You b’lieve dat, Ms. Ma’gerine HIS mom?
Sons and mothers – a complicated relationship, and even more so when you’re French, it would seem.
September 2010 was a month of vignettes rather than stories, playful, with an undercurrent of character exposition. First up, Hyacinth Chatto on a rainy day –