Washi the Fixer
Posted December 24, 2009
Blackwell: *singing to self* “♪…They knooooow that Santa’s on his waaaay / He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleiiiiiiigh…♫” Heh, if only I COULD sing. Or get that song outta my head –
Washi: Pssst! Yo, Santa!
Blackwell: What th’ –
Washi: I know you’re not really Santa, but you’ll do.
Blackwell: Do fer what? And who the hell are you? WHAT are you? It’s been a while since I hit th’ sauce, so I can’t blame it on that. Then again, maybe yer a flashback –
Washi: Oh, I’m real. Angels ARE real.
Blackwell: Sure… like Santa *snerk*.
Washi: Of course. But I can’t get Santa; he’s booked solid for the season. So, I need a substitute. How about it? You’re dressed and ready.
Blackwell: What’s in it fer me? I just got done with my charity stint. Gotta get home, before my sis gets back from school.
Washi: Call it Brownie points – though the Brownies I know hate that expression. It won’t take long, I promise. You’ll brighten the holiday of three little orphan girls… *makes winsome look*
Blackwell: Oh… okay, then. Follow me.
Washi: I know where you live. I’ll meet you there, with the orphans, in twenty minutes, tops. Cheers! **exits**
Blackwell: “Cheers” *snort* I’m gonna need some serious cheer after this is over, I can tell…
Washi: All right, looks good – I’ll bring in the orphan girls.
Blackwell: I bet it’s too much to hope that these girls might be just th’ other side of jailbait, eh, short stuff?
Washi: Now, now, keep it clean, Santa.
Washi: Ah, ladies, here he is – Santa Claus, the merry old elf himself.
Buddha Girl: Eh, dat look like him alright – d’o why he livin’ in dis dump?
Angry Sparrow: Guess it de economy.
Blackwell: Now that’d be a switch. I like yer thinkin’, little sad girl. For that, I’ll forgive th’ diss on my digs, an’ you get to be first to tell me what you’d like for Christmas, hohoho!
Buddha Girl: Eh, sister, looks like you getting’ on Santy’s REALLY good side. Mebbe I should give you MY list to tell him, jus’ in case!
Angry Sparrow: Yeh, suckin’ up work sometimes.
Blackwell: What th’ heck, yer so little, ALL of you can come sit wit’ me at once! *pats lap*
Blackwell: Gees, they sure grow ‘em small where you come from. So, tell ol’ Santa what you’d like for Christmas – let ‘er rip.
Buddha Girl: We little, but we gots BIG dreams!
Angry Sparrow: Yeh, an’ in TECHNICOLOR.
Washi: Shall I answer that for you, Santa?
Blackwell: Seein’ as I’m busy here, yeah, you do that, little flyboy –
Zephyrus: I’ve come to rescue the Sisters Sparrow! You so-called angel, what on earth possessed you to bring them to this disreputable locale?
Blackwell: Hey, hey, what’s with all this dissin’ my domicile?
Washi: I simply wanted to make them happy *shrug*. They’re perfectly safe, as long as I’m with them –
Buddha Girl: Eh, don’ worry, Horsey Boy, we take care a’ourselfs –
Angry Sparrow: Yeh, we go for de soft unnerbelly.
Blackwell: Whoa there – why the costume, Halloween’s been over for a couple months now –
Buddha Girl: Dat no costume, he ALWAYS got de horsey en’ on!
Angry Sparrow: Don’ look like he whoa-in’, d’o.
Zephyrus: Sir – I am a centaur, and was born that way *hmph*.
Washi: I believe it *wiggles wings*.
Blackwell: I didn’t know th’ circus was in town – that must be SOME freak show! *shakes head*
Zephyrus: I fear, sisters, that your angel has brought you to a charlatan claiming to be your beloved Santa –
Washi: Oh no, he’s quite the genuine article; I would never mean to trick them –
Buddha Girl: Eh, he not so fat as past years, but mebbe he tink a’his healt’ –
Angry Sparrow: I tol’ you, it de economy – can’t afford de food –
Blackwell: Hey, Santa’s doin’ just fine, thank you very much. I try to keep th’ overhead down, is all, an’ pass th’ value on to the customers! Though a home-cooked dinner’s not a bad offer –
Washi: The girls needed to speak directly to Santa, and I was able to give them this opportunity; what’s wrong with that?
Zephyrus: You could have taken them to a department store or mall – a public place. Who knows what this, this ruffian has in mind.
Blackwell: I heard that! I’ll have you know I visit th’ kids at th’ homeless shelter – so I got NO ulterior motives, if that’s what yer accusing me of –
Buddha Girl: Horsey Boy, watch wat you say – you want Santy fillin’ you stockin’s wit coal?
Angry Sparrow: Mebbe he do. He can put up twice de stockin’s, get mo’ coal.
Tragic Plum: Ooh, Zephyrus… that’s a
Raven: OH! Blackie – what’s all this going on? Who are these – um, these tiny people? At least I think they’re people –
Washi: Ah, you must be the sister he spoke of! Your dear brother is helping some deserving orphans have a nicer Christmas –
Blackwell: Yeah, it looks like I’m bringin’ my work home, huh, sis? *chuckle*
Buddha Girl: Eh, lookit dat – Santy gots a li’l sister, sisters!
Angry Sparrow: I didn’ know dat.
Sister Angela: Here you are, Washi – I’ve been looking for you. You know it’s time –
Washi: But – my new friends – I’m not ready yet –
Sister Angela: Now, dear Washi, you know Father wants us all together right now. He misses you so very much –
Washi: But – I – I… *relaxes* maybe… I am done here… I’d like to see Father… tell him what I’ve done… *sigh*…
Sister Angela: *softly* Yes, yes, Washi… Father will like to hear it all. We’ll be there in a twinkling…
**they fly away**
Raven: Oh… that… that was beautiful…
Buddha Girl: Wow…
Angry Sparrow: Yeh… wow…
Blackwell: Merry… Christmas…
Zephyrus: Merry Christmas, indeed…
(Blackwell’s Santa outfit by Thea/Ursa Lunar; Sister Angela’s outfit by TracyP.)
Christmas is ever the season for miracles…
A little less miraculous are the hijinks that occurred while shooting the holiday tales –