Direct from French Polynesia!

Posted December 19, 2009




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Elfride: All right, children, Santa is ready to hear your Christmas wish lists –



Hula Santa: Bon jour, mes enfants, San-ta Claus weel now ‘appily ‘ear what eet ees zat you dee-sire for to make yourselves a Joyeux Noël, n’est pas? Climb up on ma lap, and please to speak clear-lee –



Frida: Why you dressed like THAT, Santa? Are you REALLY Santa? I NEVER see Santa wearin’ a grass skirt before! *wags finger*



Ulf: Uh-oh, she gonna make Santy mad, den he won’t wanna hear us – dumb girl…



Hula Santa: Mais oui, lee-tle girl, I am San-ta. I ‘ave jus’ re-turned from ma sum-merome een ze South Seas, where I wear zees clothes all ze time! Eet ees warm zere, you know.

Frida: Oh. *thinks* Okay, but I b’lieve you for sure when I gets my presents!

Ulf: Shhhh! Don’ make him mad!

Elfride: Er, Santa, I think you’d better give me your cigarette. Pas de fumer around the little ones –

Little Nigella: *sniff* I… I dunno

Little Kyo: Aw, you okay, N’gella?



Elfride: Sweetheart, what’s wrong? –

Little Nigella: *sniff* I… I ‘fraid a’Santa… he… he scare me… *tears up*

Elfride: Aw, dear – there’s nothing to be scared of. I know he seems big, and um, strange, but you’re not alone. Santa wants you to tell him what you want for Christmas, and I’m here for you, too –

Little Kyo: See, it’ll be okay, N’gella – an’ I’m here, too! *thumbs up*



Hula Santa: An’ ma lee-tle garçon, ‘ave you been good all zees year long?

Ulf: If dat means ME, yeah!!! I been REAL good dis year, an’ I wants a bicycle, an’ I wants my own compooter an’ a –

Frida: Hmph



Frida: You LYIN’! Santa, Ulf LIES! I seen him take toys away from other kids at playschool, an’ push girls an’ –

Ulf: Hey, I jus’ takin back what dey tooked from ME! –

Hula Santa: Now, now, not to fly off ze han-dledu calme,du calme, mes petits



Ulf: You jus’ a big TATTLETALE, Frida! I punch you fodat! *swing*

Frida: Oh yeah? *ducks* At least I don’ LIE ta Santa! Nyahhhh!!!

Little Nigella: Oh! I hope Santa don’ get hurt…

Hula Santa: Zut alors! Ees zat any-way to show ze Christ-mas spi-rit? Eet ees time for ze bags of ze coals, I am theen-king –   **enter Little Tabitha**

Little Tabitha: Hmmmmm



Little Tabitha: Ahhhhh, you alla buncha LOOOOOO-SERS!



My sentiments, exactly!


No rest for a weary Santa’s Helper, though, even at home –


Only A Part-Time Santa Elf



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