Faithless and Begorrah-fied!
Posted March 17, 2011
Links to previous St. Patrick’s Day stories:
What a beautiful day today… though it’s a bit of a surprise to see Hyacinth; she doesn’t seem like the outdoors-y type…
Hyacinth: sniiiiiiif…snerrrrrk *moan*…
…Yet another allergy season commences. If there is indeed a Mother Nature, she is a most wicked woman! *sniffle*
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Oho, who be that lass yonder?
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, it sounds like th’ lass had a heartbreak, then – mayhap there a be chance fer Ulf ó Flannagáin to work his charm an’ bring th’ balm o’Gilead t’ her *chuckle* –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Top o’th’mornin’ to ye, lass – ‘tis Ulf ó Flannagáin, come to dry them tears’o your’n, an’ put th’ smile back in yer eyes!
Hyacinth: *startled* Oh! –
Hyacinth: And just who and what are you, making offers about my tears and smiles and whatnot?
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Oh lass, ‘tis your lucky day, to meet wi’ me – I am a leprechaun, I am – surely you’ve heerd o’ the Wee Folk, ha’en’t ye?
Hyacinth: Yes, yes I have – in story books and fairy tales! You, little man, are but a figment of imagination, brought on by a congested and pollen-filled head –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, nay, lass, I am th’ genuine article, no figments here! An’ I have more treasure than can fit in this estate, which could be part yours, as well, if ye say aye t’ me offer o’me heart, and the rest o’me in th’ splendid bargain!
Hyacinth: And I – must – sneeze – partly at your offer, and partly because I must – *ah-CHOO*!
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, lass, not to worry – w’me fortune I can buy ye an endless supply o’th’ finest Irish linen hankies fer yer saucy nose!
Hyacinth: *sniff* Linen, you say – *snort*
Hyacinth: Even if you owned every Kleenex factory on this planet, I still wouldn’t pair myself up with you. Now if you’ll pardon me, I feel yet another goodly sneeze coming on – ah – ah –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, indeed – ‘tis th’ same story again and again – another St. Patrick’s Day passes by, and no bride fer Ulf ó Flannagáin, woe, woe woe –
Hyacinth: – CHOOOOOO! **fumbles with tissue**
Doileag Uí Flannagáin: An’ here’s a BIGGER woe fer ye, me little donkey of a son! Again I catch you wi’ one o’the big folk’s women, as if I be surprised – ye niver learns, do ye?
Ulf ó Flannagáin: MA! How is it ye knows when I’m busy pitchin’ woo?
Doileag Uí Flannagáin: I’d be fair stupid as YOU if I didn’t!
Doileag Uí Flannagáin: Here, lass, now stop yer tricks and flirts wi’ me son, wavin’ your hanky at him. Or I puts the curse a’ the Wee Folk on ye –
Hyacinth: I feel cursed enough already with this allergy – and I wasn’t waving my Kleenex, I was blowing my nose! Hardly a flirtatious gesture; I rather hoped it would discourage the little nuisance –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: *pats hand* Now, now, tha’s the shyness talkin’ –
Doileag Uí Flannagáin: *confidential voice* So, I takes it then tha’ ye’ve no interest in me son?
Hyacinth: About as much interest as in a boil, ma’am, rest assured –
Doileag Uí Flannagáin: Aye, well, tha’ sums it up, in th’ proverbial nutshell, it do –
Hyacinth: Speaking of nuts, to which I am also allergic, remove your grubby little paws at ONCE, you stunted squirrel *swats* –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ahhhh, tha’s but a love tap, I swears it! *dodges*
Doileag Uí Flannagáin: Aye, well then, we’ll be takin’ our leave o’you, Miss –
Hyacinth: A wise maneouver, no doubt –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ma, ma, not me ear, OWWWWW!
Doileag Uí Flannagáin: Hush yer brayin’, me little donkey – you’ve got the ears suited for handles, then, so why not use ‘em! **they exit**
Hyacinth: Imagine, such hallucinations! I will surely take that chemist to task for his allergy medicine recommendations *hmph*.
This is the third strike for poor Ulf ó Flannagáin!
Hiro would find that funny, except he’s otherwise preoccupied –