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Faithless and Begorrah-fied!
Posted March 17, 2011
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Links to previous St. Patrick’s Day stories:
When
Irish Eyes Are *Smirking*
The
Return of Ulf ó Flanaigáin
What a beautiful day today… though it’s a bit of a surprise to see
Hyacinth; she doesn’t seem like the outdoors-y type…
Hyacinth: sniiiiiiif…snerrrrrk *moan*…
…Yet another allergy season commences. If there is indeed a Mother
Nature, she is a most wicked woman!
*sniffle*
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Oho, who be that lass yonder?
Hyacinth: *sniff-snort-sniffff*…
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, it sounds like th’
lass had a heartbreak, then – mayhap there a be chance fer
Ulf ó Flannagáin to work his charm an’ bring th’ balm o’Gilead t’ her
*chuckle* –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Top o’th’mornin’ to ye, lass – ‘tis Ulf ó Flannagáin, come to dry them tears’o
your’n, an’ put th’
smile back in yer eyes!
Hyacinth: *startled* Oh! –
Hyacinth: And just who and what are you, making offers about my
tears and smiles and whatnot?
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Oh lass, ‘tis your lucky day, to meet wi’ me – I am a leprechaun,
I am – surely you’ve heerd o’ the Wee Folk, ha’en’t ye?
Hyacinth: Yes, yes I have – in story books and fairy tales! You, little man, are
but a figment of imagination, brought on by a congested and pollen-filled head –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, nay, lass, I am th’
genuine article, no figments here! An’ I have more treasure than can fit in
this estate, which could be part yours, as well, if ye say aye t’ me offer o’me heart, and the rest o’me in th’ splendid bargain!
Hyacinth: And I – must – sneeze – partly
at your offer, and partly because I must –
*ah-CHOO*!
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, lass, not to worry – w’me fortune I can
buy ye an endless supply o’th’ finest Irish linen
hankies fer yer saucy nose!
Hyacinth: *sniff* Linen, you say – *snort*
Hyacinth: Even if you owned every Kleenex factory on this planet, I still wouldn’t pair myself up with you.
Now if you’ll pardon me, I feel yet another goodly sneeze coming on – ah – ah –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ah, indeed – ‘tis th’
same story again and again – another St. Patrick’s Day passes by, and no bride fer Ulf ó Flannagáin, woe, woe woe –
Hyacinth: – CHOOOOOO! **fumbles with tissue**
Doileag Uí
Flannagáin: An’ here’s a BIGGER
woe fer ye, me little donkey of a son! Again I catch
you wi’ one o’the big
folk’s women, as if I be surprised – ye niver learns,
do ye?
Ulf ó Flannagáin: MA! How is it ye knows when I’m busy pitchin’
woo?
Doileag Uí
Flannagáin: I’d be fair stupid as
YOU if I didn’t!
Doileag Uí
Flannagáin: Here, lass, now stop yer tricks and flirts wi’
me son, wavin’ your hanky at him. Or I puts the curse
a’ the Wee Folk on ye –
Hyacinth: I feel cursed enough already with this allergy – and I wasn’t waving my
Kleenex, I was blowing my nose! Hardly a flirtatious gesture; I rather hoped it
would discourage the little nuisance –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: *pats hand* Now, now, tha’s the shyness talkin’ –
Doileag Uí
Flannagáin: *confidential voice*
So, I takes it then tha’ ye’ve
no interest in me son?
Hyacinth: About as much interest as in a boil, ma’am, rest assured –
Doileag Uí
Flannagáin: Aye, well, tha’ sums it up, in th’ proverbial
nutshell, it do –
Hyacinth: Speaking of nuts, to which I am also
allergic, remove your grubby little paws at ONCE, you stunted squirrel *swats* –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ahhhh, tha’s but a
love tap, I swears it! *dodges*
Doileag Uí
Flannagáin: Aye, well then, we’ll
be takin’ our leave o’you,
Miss –
Hyacinth: A wise maneouver, no doubt –
Ulf ó Flannagáin: Ma, ma, not me ear, OWWWWW!
Doileag Uí
Flannagáin: Hush yer brayin’, me little donkey –
you’ve got the ears suited for handles, then, so why not use ‘em! **they exit**
Hyacinth: Imagine, such hallucinations! I will surely
take that chemist to task for his allergy medicine recommendations *hmph*.
This
is the third strike for poor Ulf ó Flannagáin!
Hiro would find that funny,
except he’s otherwise preoccupied –
